Deciding what book to buy was the hardest decision ever apart from choosing my course. It was. Seeing all the books makes me want to grab them and buy them all. But I can't do that. How I wish. And when I finally bought a book, I can't help but feel regrets. I regretted it because I wanna buy Veronica Decides to Die or Hades or Why We Broke Up or Keeping Secrets or Paper Towns or I've Got Your Number or Something Borrowed. But instead I bought She Takes It All and The Kept Woman. I just listened to my guts. But you know what they say "Don't judge a book by it's cover." So maybe it'll turn out good. We never know.

My mom slam the door forcefully. And I knew she did it in purpose. The last time she said to me was "Damn your father! leaving the dog here without thinking." And as I got home, it felt different. Like the air was serious and intense. Then I knew there was another fight between my mom and dad. I found my dad with his dog and mom in her sleep. It's different. I knew it was. It's the not same when I was still a child. Everything was just easy and happy and carefree. Now, it's different. Now I know how it felt to have a broken family. To hear your mom and dad fight while your poor sister knows nothing.

The first fight was horrible. I don't know how it started. I don't know why it started. When I got out of my room, I can hear shouting from downstairs. It was from the room of my parents. They were arguing about something. I can hear my dad saying "I've given you everything.." while I was at the stairs listening and crying. The next day, my mom was sleeping in my sister's room while my dad was sleeping alone. I try to adjust. Try to make things smooth and normal. It was hard. Still I tried.

I'm goint out in a few minutes. I just have one little problem. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR. I mean I have clothes but you know it's a girl thing, wear clothes only once especially with friends. I have a already a clothes in mind but.. UGH! this is hard. This is one thing I don't like when going out. And now my friend keeps sending me message that I should go or else I'll be late. And now I really have to go. bye

At long last, it's SEMBREAKKKKKKKKKKK! just wanna get that out of my lungs. Thank God! a rest from school which also means I have to need to choose my course before the semestral break ends. Oh no. But what the hell? I need to enjoy this moment not dreading it. And I have lot of things in my mind that I want to do this sembreak. Or should I say a list.

• read the book about nikon/DSLR
• read the trilogy of fifty shades
• learn photography
• have a photo shoot of my own
• learn how to play ukulele
• learn how to play piano
• go to do dentist's really really bad
• watch a lot of movies
• or series
• or animes
• or korean dramas
• finish the harry potter books and then watch the harry potter movies non stop
• woah
• earn money
• spend mony
• confusing right?
• go out with anyone a lot 
• finish the remaining books of judith mcnaught :(
• finish the percy jackson books 
• redecorate my room
• SHOP
• go to places I have never been before
• sleepover 
• go to food shops and eat with friends
• lastly
• go to gelatissimo  and eat the mouth watering ice cream all by myself

There are still a lot of things I wanna do that I just forgot. For the mean time. But I know I can't do all these in one week and probably days. So I'll just continue the rest in maybe christmas break or SUMMER vacation. *moan* just the sound of it(summer) makes me feel like I'm in heaven.

I've been holding my tears for like hours. I've had a worst day. I was again disappointed. My intrams sucks. My mom sucks. My friends sucks. My sister sucks. My school sucks. My day sucks. Most of all I SUCK. If I have known that this was going to happen, I would never have come to school at all. My last intramurals sucks. I keep wishing and wishing but nothing happened. God! I wish karla was here so she can take me away from here. I hate it. Really fucking hate it. I hate it when I was all alone. No friends to talk to while watching the field demonstration dances. I hate it when my sister pissed me off. And she have no fucking idea how tiring it was to find her. And how fucking tiring it was to line up and buy her a drink. I hate it when I have to go home early because my mom freaking bugs me to. I hate it how my intrams ends like this. With only 3 days because of the fucking typhoon. Lastly, I hate myself for crying in this godforsaken room. I hate it.

Okay so today is the 2nd day of intramural. It wasn't really a blast but I'm glad it was fun. It was much better than yesterday with my best friends. Today I'm just with Dakay, Junneth & Celine cause unfortunately my best friends didn't showed up. I hate them for ditching me. Leaving me alone and lonely while watching other girls having a good time. Okay so we went to different kinds of booths I didn't tried before. I was hindered by my best friends' laziness. So I've tried the hair braid booth. The black shadow booth. The dj booth. And the film showing booth. But before I met these three girls, I was captured by one of the CAT officers for not wearing any usc shirt. And I was so devastated cause friends are supposed pay them so I can get out of the jail but unfortunately my friends aren't with me. Luckily, that day has been an exception. Instead of friends paying, I get to answer a question. The question I randomly picked was "What is square root of 64 times square root of 25?". At first, I really thought I can't answer it but miraculously I did. It was actually easy. The answer was 80. WOW. I never thought I'm good at math. And then I got out and found these lovely three girls. And so for the first time in my life, I have dedicated a song and left a message. It was actually just a prank. A nice prank. For Dakay's crush to hear her name. And then the film showing booth. We watched a movie called Insidious even though I already watched it. It was fun screaming your lungs out even though it's not already scary. And then the last one. The black shadow booth. But here's the real thing. We didn't really watched the dancing shadows or something cause the performers are not complete but instead we watched Mission Impossible 4. It was amazing and cool but we didn't finished it cause we were asked to leave the school in 15 minutes because of the typhoon. It made me realize how unpredictable life really is. Cause really just a moment ago, we were soaked in sweat because of running around the pentagon under the heat of the sun. Then the next moment, we were soaked in the rain and asked to leave the school for fear of danger. just WOW.

I am seriously crying right now. I'm just disappointed with my mom. I know people will think that I'm overreacting but I can't help my tears. I can't help my tears cause my heart really aches. I've never felt like this before. Now I know how it felt to be disappointed. And I tell you, it's not good. That moment when you're so excited about something and then it won't happen because of your mom and her stupid reason. I've been looking forward to it. Been excited for hours. Anticipating it. Only to find you heart crushed by those words of excuses. And I hate it.

Today is the 1st day of intramurals. 3 more days to go and my last intramurals in high school is done. I really want it to be memorable. I even kept saying to my friends yesterday that tomorrow is our last intramurals in highschool. But I was disappointed. It was totally boring. The whole afternoon has just been an endless walking. And sleeping. I slept in the canteen because I was tired. I was tired from all the dancing in the morning. My event was pop jazz. And I have to wake up early in the morning just to go to school and do the make up. Everyone was in panic when it's time for the parade. When the parade starts, all I think was how sexy and bitchy the green team costume was while our team, yellow, was just plain boring. I love their steppings and their intro/exit music. I love ours but not that much. But even though I despise our group, I'm thankful I'm here in pop jazz. I'm thankful that I don't have to be in field demonstration where we have to wear disgusting costume. And dance the disgusting steppings. I don't have to practice after intrams. Besides, my best friends are jealous of me because they didn't get in. I know it in my heart even if their acting like a jerk.

I have endured what no woman can endure. I didn't know I had this will power. Seriously. I thought I was going to give up but I didn't. I used to say "kill me now" or "when will this end?" but I all I think was "it's okay" and "just keep going, you're almost there." Especially when I forgot to get my phone from the locker. I was already halfway home . But I guess I made the right decision cause I didn't regret it later. I totally came back to school to get my phone. And it was raining. And my shoes are broken. And my money is short. And I was tired and hungry and sleepy and dirty. And it was already dark. But I endured it and ran even though my whole body was aching. You can't imagine what I have suffered. Or maybe you can. But I think no one else can endure that one except for me.